THE NAKED FACE (1984)

Well damn, this is the first time the movie's title font

actually matches my post title font.

Adapted and directed from Sidney Sheldon's 1970 novel by Bryan Forbes (The Stepford Wives), The Naked Face is an odd movie on paper. Roger Moore as a psychoanalyst! And teaming up with Art Carney! With Golan-Globus producing!

Of course, hearing the latter (and the name Sidney Sheldon) would make one expect this film to be total melodramatic cheese. Does it fulfill that expectation? Or is it better than a film of its kind deserves to be?

Roger Moore as Dr. Judd Stevens

Anne Archer as Ann Blake

Rod Steiger as Lt. McGreavy

(And yes, he makes many faces like this throughout the entire movie.)

Elliott Gould as Det. Angeli

David Hedison as Dr. Peter Hadley

Frankie Hill as Carol Roberts

Art "Malawillyoucomeinthekitchenandhelpme" Carney 

as Norman Z. Morgens, P.I.

Chicago psychoanalyst Dr. Judd Stevens, after unknowingly escaping an unknown assassin while visiting the grave of his wife and daughter, is drawn into the murder investigation of one of his patients, who was killed while wearing the doctor's raincoat.

Phillip Shaw's editing wastes no time in setting up Stevens' job

and the well-prepared, looming threat out for him.

On the case are Lt. McGreavy (Steiger) and Det. Angeli (Gould), who soon suspect Stevens when his secretary Carol is brutally murdered.

This Silent Partner / In the Heat of the Night crossover is really weird.

Things only escalate further when Stevens survives several more attempts on his life, and finds himself entangled in the life of his patient Ann (Archer).

With TNF being a result of Moore wanting to play a rare leading dramatic role (and Golan and Globus wanting to cash in on his popularity), it could have really gone south, but Moore enlisting the help of his friend Forbes (who also co-wrote the screenplay for Moore's 1970 film The Man Who Haunted Himself) turned out to be the most instrumental decision of all.

Joe D. Lauck as Mr. Boyd

A heartbreakingly-sympathetic bisexual character trying to make sense

of his sexuality while married with two kids was likely not a popular portrayal 

in 1984, but Forbes' script treats him far better than the book did, 

and his murder is portrayed as a terrible tragedy.

Stevens' response to McGreavy calling Boyd "a f** with a family".

Needless to say, this viewer cheered.

Moore may not look like anyone's idea of a real-life 

psychoanalyst, but his age helps the believability of this story.

Playing the obvious "red herring asshole", Steiger is so over-the-top eccentric as McGreavy that it borders on the absurd. His initial questions to Stevens are so wrong on an ethical level ("Do any of your patients love you?" and his ensuing tirades), but almost funny because of said absurdity and Steiger's delivery.

Steiger's "accent" and line delivery in this film

are so unusual that they make his character stand out even more.

(Steiger's recent plastic surgery at the time may not have been

the reason, but it sure as hell sounds like it.)

Hedison is great as Stevens' brother-in-law Hadley,

and his scene "diagnosing" McGreavy is downright amazing.

James Spinks (Car Wash, A Rage in Harlem, Mo' Money)

plays a prison supervisor who provides a vital clue to Stevens.

Casting Carney, in an ode to The Late Show (1977),

is highly appreciated. And yes, Morgens also has a cat.

Moore is a great lead, and Forbes' script and direction allow him to go in many directions to make him a likable, relatable hero. Kind, gentle, empathetic, and snarky to those who deserve it, Stevens as a character has aged a lot better than many male leads in these kinds of stories.

Given how Cannon slashed TNF's budget and filming schedule, 

it's truly a miracle how Moore, Forbes, and company 

delivered a film that comes through completely unscathed.

As a whole, TNF takes its time in letting us get to know the characters, letting their behavior and dynamics "sink in". It might be considered "slow" for those expecting a film closer to other Sheldon adaptations, but it's still a refreshing change in a film that should have gotten its due in 1984.

Moore once said that this film would have been successful

in the U.K. had it not been rated an "18" there.

THE ROLE OF ADAPTATION (AND THE SCRIPT)

I've said that Forbes is a pivotal force with this film, and the script is its largest indicator. Seemingly devoid of the melodramatic, sensationalist dialogue characteristic of Sheldon's work, Forbes' direction helps this along by providing a laid-back, natural energy, letting the actors relax and move things along, all the while not treating the audience like idiots who need everything explained to them.

Gould and Steiger are quite natural together,

and Steiger has an amusing bit where he addresses

an old lady listening in on their conversation.

Morgens "analyzes" Stevens in his own way, to make him feel at home.

Through shrewd thinking, Morgens saves Stevens from a car bomb.

Cynthia Baker Schuyler as Teri Goldman

Stevens' other patients do appear, but not for so long that

they come off as tangential or needless to the story.

"Showing" more than "telling", and its needed exposition not stilted or emotionless, TNF definitely rises above its genesis and treats its characters with dignity and respect, while showing just how ridiculous attitudes like McGreavy's truly are.

THE STUFF OF TRAVELOGUES

Filmed on location with many local actors, TNF shows Chicago in considerable glory. Cinematographer David Gurfinkel does so well, that I wish his filmography had more films like this one, rather than stinkers such as The Apple and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. Fellow Chicago-set psych-themed work The Bob Newhart Show would be proud.

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

Wait, what?

(And no, Steiger does not actually emphasize the word "as".)

The closest thing to a "Roger Moore Eyebrow Raise" in this film.

No, Steiger's not ripping off David Wayne in The Front Page (1974).

His clothing is just diametrically opposed to his personality, that's all.

Hah?

Having exhausted all my crossover and Late Show jokes,

one can easily think of more with the help of this scene.

(Also, kitteh!)

Moore's "Barney Martin on Murder, She Wrote" glasses

deserve a spot all their own.

*pauses movie*

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Not getting its due praise on initial release, The Naked Face is a great non-Bond film for Roger Moore fans, and a surprise for those expecting an exploitative Cannon film or a melodrama typical of the Sidney Sheldon name.

Copyright © Chynna Moore

A VIEW TO A KILL (1985)

A View to a Kill, while not regaining much critical standing, has gained an increased fan appreciation in the years since. With some aspects taken for granted (but still done well) back then that have seen some rough years since, it's unsurprising why many Bond fans have gone back to this one, with its "devil you know" factor written all over it.

Roger Moore as James Bond

Tanya Roberts as Stacey Sutton

Christopher Walken as Max Zorin

Grace Jones as May Day

Patrick Macnee as Sir Godfrey Tibbett

David Yip as CIA Agent Chuck Lee

Willoughby Gray as Dr. Carl Mortner

Patrick Bauchau as Scarpine

Robert Brown as M

Desmond Llewelyn as Q

Lois Maxwell as Miss Moneypenny

Geoffrey Keen as Frederick Gray

Walter Gotell as General Gogol

Fiona Fullerton as Pola Ivanova

Back when I was making my initial strides in gaining Bond series knowledge in the 2000s, I had never even heard of AVTAK, until seeing a 1986 People magazine ad about its (likely cable) release.

Since that time, however, the film has gained an almost cult status (probably chiefly) for its villains and their iconic, memetic status in pop culture.

Turns out, I had been seriously missing out on some memorable villains.

I had seen AVTAK a couple times before now, but the signs of age and "being hip with them 80s kids" were apparent even the first time I saw it, with one Uncanny Valley example sticking out the most.

The Naked Face (1984)

A View to a Kill (1985)

This, combined with the increasingly younger Bond Girls and noticeably older mooks (and noticeable stunt doubles period), pitches AVTAK at a heightened cartoon reality that's slightly off on virtually all fronts, with the things not falling victim to it (the score, Glen's direction, etc.) just making the weirder aspects even more apparent.

You know your Bond film is trying way too hard when John Barry's

score switches to a lame cover version of "California Girls".

AVTAK is best described as two tenuously linked, disparate halves: The calmer, "Point A to Point B" first half (with filler horse doping subplot), followed by the second half that everyone remembers.

Even Max Zorin is pretty nonchalant in the first half, quickly figuring out 

who Bond is and wasting little time trying to get rid of him permanently.

So it should also be no surprise that the two opposing undercurrents running through the whole film is Bond's advancing age and Zorin's batshit-insanity, both of which keep it from being completely forgettable, if not always for the right reasons.

For audiences in 1985, Moore's new face and the age of Kimberley

Jones (Mary Stavin) likely set them up for the many examples 

of cringe that were to follow.

80s or not, those outfits are... something.

Old Bond, old mooks. It's only fair.

Nope!

(Though what follows is another memorable scene, for better or for worse...)

While I can see how Moore wasn't fond of this scene, if any

Bond villain would do this, it's totally Max Zorin.

But from a writer's point of view, the underlying irony of AVTAK is that the script is largely not the problem. Sure, it takes several plot points from Goldfinger, features a villain plan with a terrible flaw (more on that later), pads itself out with the horse subplot, and has more than a few stupid moments (as loud as that explosion is, how does Stacey not hear the big-ass blimp behind her?), but I can't say it's much worse than its immediate predecessors. But keeping the lead (who was then pushing sixty) was unfortunately an overall mistake.

If Moore was still playing Bond, the script would have been far better with two small changes. A) Acknowledge Bond's age and how it affects his work, and B) Pair him with women older than 35 at the least. 

Bond tucking Stacey in after dispatching Zorin's goons is one of

the better scenes in the film, with none of the cringe in sight.

But that was not the approach the producers (nor likely the audience) wanted in 1985, so what we got is an unintentional "generation gap" where the leads are mostly over 50 and the villains represent the "MTV Generation".

Though this would have made an excellent NBC sitcom

following The Golden Girls.

Another example of something making less sense in context than out of it.

With Christopher Walken's legendary status since solidified and Grace Jones' trailblazing career better appreciated, giving them the roles of the villains and not reining in their performances was arguably the best decision AVTAK ever made. They're the reasons people come back to it, and will keep coming back to it for years to come.

And that is how you shock even Max Zorin.

I love how even Zorin can laugh at the absurdity of his impending demise.

Believe it or not, I never had a huge problem with Stacey Sutton, if only because the writing doesn't have her do anything extremely unbelievable as a geologist (glammed-up as she is, it was the 80s workforce), realistically showing her as an office worker day-to-day, and having her successfully subdue several mooks with her shotgun and later knock out Scarpine on the blimp.

A rock salt-loaded shotgun is both badass and kind of genius.

Well, okay, there was one thing that irritated me even on first viewing...

He will so not leave you, Stacey! Shut up!

I guess after being nearly burned alive, attacking the villains will look less scary by comparison.

Helping the film's first half is Moore and Macnee's chemistry, where Bond is a total jerk to Tibbett to keep up the charade to Zorin and his men. They're so funny, that it really stinks when May Day kills Tibbett later.

Seriously, we needed these two in an Avengers/Persuaders spinoff.

THE STUFF OF STUNTS (AND STUNTMEN)

AVTAK is yet another example of excellent stunt work in the Bond series, and while visible stunt doubles have since become a running gag in making fun of this film, that's not to overshadow the great work by professionals such as B.J. Worth (performing the Eiffel Tower parachute jump below).

I will say, though, that with this many visible stunt doubles for Bond, it's no wonder May Day couldn't recognize him!

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

Due to Moore's age, Walken dances circles around him

in the double entendre department.

Roger Moore doing an American accent = Classic.

Punched out by a jump cut! My one weakness!

Achille Aubergine (Jean Rougerie), a Poirot expy who's only in

the film to deliver exposition and get killed, in that order.

(Not to mention, he's distractingly ADR'd the whole time.)

This taxi driver's blustering reaction though.

There's something hilarious about Bond being grabbed by the chefs, of all people.

Dolph Lundgren (Jones' boyfriend at the time) as Gogol's KGB agent Venz.

While these jackets were "in" at the time, looking at it now,

Bond just looks older than he already is.

Real Men Bake Quiche

Kitteh!

While the use of San Francisco City Hall is great, I'm still a bit

disconcerted from remembering what happened there less than a decade

prior, given what happens to Mr. Howe (Daniel Benzali) in this film.

Also, I'm guessing the filmmakers were on a bit of a time crunch,

seeing as Benzali's blood pack fails to burst when Howe is shot.

Zorin and May Day staying to make sure Bond drowns makes

them virtually the smartest Bond villains ever.

Roger Ebert famously pointed out that Zorin's plan to flood Silicon Valley

would decimate his customers, not his competitors.

(Also, where are Otisburg and Teschmacher Peaks?)

And the worst part is, Waiter Grover had nothing to do with it.

Oh hai, 80s token robot!

And Bond just leaves Moneypenny worried and crying about him

while he showers with Stacey. What a prick!

Trust me, I doubt anyone is going to get Zoran Ladicorbic Ltd.

confused with Christopher Walken anytime soon.

Nor will they confuse this dummy for Zorin, for that matter.

TIDBITS AND SUCH

After a few mediocre Bond scores, John Barry's penultimate effort redeems as he borrows a few elements from On Her Majesty's Secret Service and combines it with some serious 80s electric guitar for "Golden Gate Fight", a.k.a. this film's second-best-remembered music.

So how does AVTAK look now that my older eyes have seen it? Well, it's still loaded with problems, and it's certainly not a favorite, but it's so damn weird (and still competently made) that it's secured its place in pop culture as "weird even for Bond" and "The Walken One". And that's fine by me.

Copyright © Chynna Moore